So I talked to the voices this morning only to realize that they can make it seem like what Im saying is gibberish. The voices can block my thoughts and even confuse me into saying other things. It started by talking to e when she asked me how to share love in business instead of hurting the other person from suffering from lost. I was in the process of telling her an answer, when suddenly my thoughts are all jumbled up and in return I say something wrong instead of what I should have told her. I was going to tell her that the best way is if you give the people what they need and understand where they are coming from Then you get results.I then remembered that time when I almost choked to death because they didn't want me to think. Those days I felt like giving up and crying,t he thought of fighting it was becoming impossible. I was overwelhmed by the feeling, which was reminding me that I fear this, i fear an feeling that felt like fear of dying.i could of easily letten go, but instead I was to bussy trying to catch my breath.then there was the day were they took my voice and I still think they do sometimes, just to prove something to m.o.m. which I thought it was who they answered to. Those days they would mimic my voice and use it to talk to someone, or just to make fun of me throwing it back in my face. Even now I can't hear myself thinking, the voice I use to have is gone. I've even gotten a diffrent way of conversing with people. Some days I wake up and I feel like saying puto, when I know I shouldn't. I ask them what they want and all e tell me is money. I've tried to reason with them that money isn't earned this way, but all they do is curse me out. I can't even concentrate in my study because they won't let me read. And when I try to listen to the TV or radio they change it to make it seem like they are saying something else. I can only rely on the captions and on what I'm seeing these days. To be honest I can't even rely on what I'm seeing much, because of some incidents. I wish I had someone who could show them that they have to change their ways.
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