controlling slopy handwriting

so there is the fact that i've been working on my handwriting because its kind of ugly and unrecognizable, and now the fact that the voicethoughts are messing with my handwriting is even worst. my hand writing is taking up to much space and the letters are big and irregular its like they think that everything should be big no matter the upper case and lower case, and that is what i'm writing about they don't have the rule of the lower case only being half of the space provided in a notebook of any kind. anyways i like to write all together for a word, almost like i'm suffocating the words so that they have enough space for the rest of the writing i'm going to do. take a moment here and notice how i used the word suffocate, like the words e uses a voicethought that cant be forgotten because of the pain she's provided in the process of saying suffocate and then taking my breath away. i feel like i'm losing myself slowly here and by slowly i mean really fast, because i'm using words and phrases that they would use and that to me is scaring me. i mean i feel like they are slowly taking control and its like an animal that wants to breakout and act on its own accord. back to the topic though, the writing i use its more organized because it takes the lower case rule for words to action, for example i would write the lower case words only half of what the space of length is giving me.

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